You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
