wake up i wanna do it froggy style
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
