Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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