The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize