The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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