We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
