curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize