I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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