i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
