sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
