I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
