Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
