Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
