There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
this will be a night to untag.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
