Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think my moral compass just broke
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
