Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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