Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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