1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
