I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
