I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
