Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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