Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
