The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I want to be your penis for a week.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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