So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
