the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
