just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
