I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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