I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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