I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
