He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize