I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
