I love black thongs
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
