i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize