My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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