john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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