Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
