you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
