That's intense
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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