You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
