That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
