I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
