Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
