So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
