Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
