So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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