In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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