yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
