just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
