my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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