"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
