you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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