did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
