You're my little dorito
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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