OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
