so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
