Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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