On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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