I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
send nudes
from the living room?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
