He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
