I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I hate all girls vehemently.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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