capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
