i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
