Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize