that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
