So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
