Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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