My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
