four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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