1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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