if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The Olympian is in my bed
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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