Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
